For Anslem

-Wasta

Bwahahahahahah!

That...is perfect.

Someone used that in an email thread I was involved in over the weekend and I started laughing thinking of Anslem.

Josh

*Falls over laughing.* Oh, that's glorious.

Oh, so you've met my character I see? :-p

^Like.

South, I've got to give you immense credit for playing your character to the hilt. I really loved watching the Alpha of the freakin' sept get ostracized by a bunch of folk including his sister, some Cliath and a Kinfolk. It was so glorious to behold. I think my jaw dropped when I read that comment he made.

I think the thing that is funnier is that Anselm (and by extension, South) knows exactly what he meant... where as everyone else thinks he hates gays.

Achievement Unlocked: Piss of Sept Alphas with Multiple Kinfolk Characters!

Yay, tactlessness! Always makes for fun RP, especially when there's no Etiquette to cover tracks.

This spawns situations like an itty bitty Silent Strider Ragabash Cliath telling Minotaur to go fuck himself and then realizing a heartbeat later that it may not have been the wisest course of action.

I'm interested to learn, though, how that comment Anselm made was supposed to not be offensive.

^ I'm interested to learn the fate of the aforementioned Cliath. LoL

And at least they weren't a Black Fury!

@Laura - Sounds like you should find out in character what he was thinking when he said it. :)I promise it was vastly different than your character took it. *dangling the candy bar of curiosity*

Hey South, please stop dangling your candy bar in public.

*zip*

That's fair.

@South - I don't doubt that I'll have to find out ICly what Anselm actually meant. I was simply expressing curiosity to find out eventually. So nyah.

@Crystal - I'd be happy to tell you what happened to that Silent Strider Ragabash, as long as people don't beat me over the head for waxing Galliard for a moment or twelve. tl;dr is an entirely valid response to this rambling.

The Strider and her pack were on a totem quest that I was trying to use as an object lesson. There were two Furies in the pack, an Ahroun and her sister, a Philodox. The potential pack was trying to decide what totem they wanted to follow, and Owl came up as a somewhat popular suggestion (mostly because I suspect that they liked the thought of having wings in the Umbra...). The Ratkin in the area overheard that conversation and immediately began wigging out while he tried to understandably get the fuck out. Most of the rest of the pack saw the reaction of the Ratkin and the subsequent glowering of the Bone Gnawers when they heard about it as a strong suggestion that they ought not pick a totem that so clearly pisses off sept members. As the Strider Ragabash said, "We're all supposed to be working TOGETHER. Maybe we shouldn't pick Owl as a totem spirit."

The Fury Philodox began arguing and arguing that it shouldn't matter what totem spirit they followed, that they all ought to be judged on their personal actions. The Glass Walker Theurge ever so sweetly pointed out that when the spirits weren't happy or fighting, the Garou weren't going to be happy, plain and simple. The Fury Philodox continued to disagree.

Turns out, they couldn't come to a consensus about what spirit they wanted to follow. I took the opportunity (with ideas and advice from Justin) to give the pack an object lesson about the importance of totem bans.

When they set out on the totem quest, I put them in an immensely tall, stale, spooky maze. I left them little hints and suggestions that this was not a friendly place: a broken Grecian loom, a broken scissors, a tangled skein; a mural of Pegasus with one wing ripped off, screaming in pain... y'know... subtle stuff. There was one more thing that they could've run into but didn't, but I can't for the life of me remember it right now.

The pack is making its way through the maze and (thanks to Justin's suggestion) they realize that they have the ability to call on some powerful intermediate Gifts. They come across the broken loom, scissors and skein and immediately view it as a puzzle to be solved (which i had not intended but was ver amused to let them "figure out" anyway). Working together as a pack, they find ways to repair the loom, fix the scissors and untangle a little bit of the skein, and they continue th tapestry that was interrupted until they realize that the huge scale of the piece means that it'll take them forever to finish. Satisfied that they did something good by repairing the items, they continue on.

Shortly after, the Strider Ragabash slaps her head and exclaims that they should've taken the string from the area with the loom to help track where they've been because this is just like the Minotaur's maze. I bite my lips and try not to giggle. A brief argument ensues in which the Philodox INSISTS that as long as they continue to go along the left wall, they'll get where they need to go, and pretty much the entire rest of the pack things it's a wise idea to go back to get the string. Ultimately, they do go back and see that the loom, the skein and the scissors are in the state they were when the pack had first found them, fine layer of dust over the objects and everything. They come to the conclusion that maybe these items aren't there for them to fix or take and journey on without the string.

Next, the pack comes upon a fresco of Pegasus with one of his wings torn off, head thrown back in a scream of pain. Once again, the pack decides that this is a riddle that needs to be solved. The Philodox, of all folks, comes up with a crazy idea to use a feathered trinket that her sister the Ahroun alpha wears as a sort of focus for the Theurge to use Mother's Touch to repair the damage to the fresco. It's a weird, off-the-wall idea in a weird, off-the-wall Umbral realm, so I roll with it. I like clever ideas. The Theurge's Mother's Touch restores the outline of the missing wing, and they count it as a pretty excellent success and are looking forward to finding and fighting whatever nasty creature it was that tore the wing off of Pegasus. They continue on.

I present them with a trio of vampires in coffins so they can get an actual sense for the Gifts to which they temporarily have access and because most of these brand-new Garou players are new/newish Vampire players and I figured it'd give them a comparable sense of the difference in power between the two creature types. The pack decides to get some of the wood from the broken loom to use as stakes, and they send the Silent Strider to get them. The Silent Strider gets a very practical lesson in why high speed in tight spaces is not as awesome an idea as it sounds. The broken nose healed quickly enough, and she brings back a couple of stakes. Combat ensues, and I inadvertantly end up enthralling better than half the pack with a Ventrue and Entrancement. Was not trying to rock them on chops as badly as I did... honest...

The Theurge, not affected by Entrancement, takes one of the stakes and starts prodding at the Philodox who's mooning over the beautiful Ventrue, trying to provoke the Fury into frenzy. Lots of poking, lots of insulting, and I finally slips the Theurge Song of Rage to use. The Theurge immediately starts belting out Queen's "Fat-Bottomed Girls" in the hopes that it will sufficiently enrage the Philodox. Unfortunately, the Theurge's player had no chop-fu, and the Song of Rage failed. The Ahroun finally finishes walking over the other two vampires and attacks the Ventrue her sister is snuggling. That pushes the Philodox into frenzy, the Ventrue is dusted, and all is sort of right with the world again. The pack continues on.

They finally make it to the other end of the maze and step into a vast, circular room where Minotaur is calmly seated on a simple (but massive) stool. He turns his attention to the Glass Walker, the Silent Strider, and the Fianna and asks them how they liked the Gifts he gave them. He offers to teach them anything they wish that is not the sole purview of their Elders, as long as they do one small thing for him -- kill the Furies. The Philodox's jaw hits the floor. The Ahroun starts to glare. The other three packmates refuse. The Fianna refuses very politely. Minotaur offers again, coaxing them to think about what tremendous warriors for Gaia they could be and how little they have to do in return for such bounteous Gifts. Again, they refuse, the Strider getting a little more irritated, the Fianna remaining impeccably polite. Minotaur cautions them that he won't be making that offer to them again if they refuse him. The Silent Strider tells Minotaur to go fuck himself.

The look of abject horror and terrible realization on the Strider's face is very satisfying. Minotaur stands, pulls out an axe, and begins to advance on the pack while the other Garou are either gawking in dumbfounded awe at the Strider's utter tactlessness or moving into battle positions. If I hadn't needed to wrap game at that point, I would've done much cooler things with the end of the totem quest than I did, but Minotaur appeared to walk into some sort of barrier and dissolved into an untold number of feathers out of which Unicorn's Eagle reformed and offered to patron the pack so long as they continued to work for the betterment of their surroundings.

I kinda wish I'd had time to do some cooler things with the end of that totem quest, but that's the story about a Silent Strider Ragabash Cliath telling Minotaur to go fuck himself. It's very long, but it was a damn delight to run.

I read that whole thing and there was no porn.

Your totem is displeased.

True. See, Wasta? I knew you would fit in.

Yes, mistress.

Wait, since when the hell are you my totem? And we are NOT starting this again... Anya's gonna catch wind of it, and then it's gonna be slash-fic everywhere, and it's going to be ALL YOUR FAULT.

You are all my children, Laura. It just takes some a little longer to fully understand.

Look, darlin', I'm happy to be an affiliated totem or even one of your brood, but I follow my own rules. *Wink.*

I have so very few rules. Don't worry. :-)

*Skeptical eyes.*

What? You can trust me.