Questions I Come Up With While Bored At Work

Does anyone else think of Dr. Who when they hear Dr. Dre's new song "I Need a Doctor"? (This song is also going on Essence's playlist.)

I do now.

I enjoy that I have now been responsible for this.

I think of Dr. Horrible.

That's a good one too.

So, work related. I work in trucking as a dispatcher. A guy is waiting at my desk this morning as I get in. This is the conversation:

Him: "I don't want any more n$#%%ers on my truck."

Me (after a second): "Well that won't be a problem because you're fired."

Him: "WHAT?!? Why??"

Me: "Well, you just said a racial slur very loudly in the middle of the office."

Him: "That's...that's discrimination!"

#howdidyourdaystart

Nice!

I work at the Military Service Center on the UT campus. My favorite was when I had a veteran student come into the office about his GI benefits...the conversation started off with"

Him: "So who's ass do I got to kick in order to get my benefits going."
Me: "Well, we can step out into the hallway and find out from there?"

I love my job.

HA! I had fun conversations like that when I was student teaching.

Veterans are fun yet obnoxious to work with. Depending on the day of the week, and how much alcohol they've imbibed.

Your signature reminds me that I need to include my Pure breed.

I think my least favorite customers to deal with come from college campuses, be they airheaded freshmen who know neither what dorm they're staying at nor how many digits of their shiny new credit card number I need to finish their transaction, or arrogant, half-deaf tenured professors who are condescending as hell to me but can't pick up the format for ordering pizzas after I guide them through it two or three times.

Then there are the people who get mad when they can't use a coupon for a carry-out deal (a coupon they HAVE IN THEIR HANDS because they just rattled off the code for me) for delivery.

Then there are the people who are confused when I tell them a Meatzza pizza is more than two toppings and will therefore cost more than the deal they're using.

I could go on for hours. Food service is... yeah... I'm ready to be done with food service jobs.

Laura, plz move to Ohio. You can has job at Safeguard.

*ahem* One of us...One of us...

So, I'm bartending at a place in Mt. Vernon, IA and this woman comes in, alreadty drunk, with two of the biggest, built guys I have ever seen. She slides up to the bar and orders a drink. I say "I need to see an ID". Her response is to lift her shirt and bra, showing me a very nice pair of tits and she says "here's my ID!".

I calmly nod and say "those are very nice, but they are not $1400 tits. I need to see ID". The guys on either side of her puff up and she goes to be offended and I cut them off.

"Listen, if I serve anyone nuderage - for the first offense - it's $1000 to me and $400 to the bar in tickets. So, while I did very much appreciate the look, I can't serve you without an ID."

The guy to her left look at the guy to her right and shrugs. As he's reaching for his ID he says "he's right, honey. Those are $800 tits at most..."

My favorite is when people call me from overseas while using their satellite phones. I can hear them just fine, but on their end, it's like I'm constantly whispering, no matter how loud I scream into the receiver. I know this, because I've made phone calls of those damn phones. After I a while, I just tell them to e-mail me.

Kasey, please believe that when I leave Domino's, it will be the last food service job I ever hold. I'm so done with this crap. I will happily be one of you guys. As soon as I possibly can.

... sooner if Nick finally finishes that teleporter...

Essence wrote:"Listen, if I serve anyone nuderage...

And that, folks, is what we call a Freudian nip-slip.

^Like.

^^ Double like